being alone
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I find one of the most difficult things for me to do in this stage is to make a decision. To make a commitment in any direction immediately puts me on my defensive. I feel like I have done nothing lately but make mistakes. While trying to walk in wisdom I see that I am… Read more
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I went to lunch today at my usual place where I am known but no one bothers me. I am after all playing the role of a recluse. So I sit with my glass of wine with my journal open doing my writing. It’s quiet, no ones pays any attention to me. As usual, this… Read more
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There is a lot of waiting in life. Just as it takes 9 months to create a new life and a woman will count each day and in her last trimester it’s all about the waiting waiting waiting. Exchanging emails with a new beau waiting waiting waiting. A phone call about a job, a kind… Read more
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Are you angry? I hate that sentence it makes me so mad. Or does it make me angry? According to the web, I searched through images for the word mad, this is someone mad. I agree that person looks mad but he clearly is not mad. Not the kind of mad people keep saying I… Read more
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After pruning my family tree I am feeling pretty free today. There were some heavy boughs that had to go, limbs that have been weighing me down and making my butt look big, I hate that! Well I am changing my tune, singing a new song and really loudly. I am certainly not buying… Read more
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I, the self-appointed queen of my world is traveling to Florida this weekend to be among my people. I will walk amongst those who I have not seen in many years. People who knew when and do not know me now. Is that a queenly thing? Am I not suppose to keep it all a… Read more
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I am realizing more and more that my weaknesses are the very thing holding me up. Like so many women of my generation I believed in the old ways of what women roles are, mother, servant, slave. I keep wondering what I am supposed to do. What am I waiting to do. Then there it… Read more
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It’s Sunday morning and after a very long week I needed a boost to keep me going when the reality is I am about done. Done with what? Well interesting that you ask…This last week was difficult. And in difficulty I found myself ready to give up.It gets very fatiguing to constantly hold all the… Read more
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I am pulling my hair out. I cannot understand what the hell is going on. Yesterday I strained my back by putting on my shoes. Yes that’s right by bending over and putting on my shoes I immediately tore something in my back. Boom down I went. There went my week-end. Pain with every step.… Read more
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In order to combat loneliness one can spend time moving in crowds, walking with others. Moving in a sea of people is strangely comforting as there is an almost intimate act that goes along with rubbing elbows with your neighbor this human walking right beside you, waiting at the stop light with you, riding the… Read more
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