After my own experience of being nearly wrapped up in a yoga cult, I am watching this documentary and it is bringing it all up again. Kundalini is where my spiritual yogic journey began.

Guru Jagat or Katie, the subject of the film is another notch on the Yogi Bhajan cult belt. Though she never studied with him personally we learn no one really did, (she was obsessed with the saying Yogi Bhajan said, as were/are many), The teachers taught “kundalini yoga” and he played with his girls and didn’t ‘do’ yoga, not that anyone witnessed.

She is just another woman who “believed” in her teacher (Harijiwan, the guy who goes to prison for YB) and may or may not have known just how bad it is to be a puppet. I do!

I don’t need to go into the horror of being an innocent spiritually seeking person who gets sideswiped by manipulative teachers. Watching the documentary has opened the wound and the feelings of being that stupid, How could I have done that?

The real horror is that I am not talking about YB alone, I wasn’t young enough or rich enough to garner his attention, thank all the Gods he worshiped, money sex and power. Mine was the next guy who pretended not to be like YB and followed directly behind him in all of his manipulative ways. By the time I get to him I do have money.

One of my kids is watching the Breath of Fire doc. and I had to admit to just how close I came to wanting to be a part of the inner circle, confessing to being desperate for the “teacher’s” attention. In the doc. they tell of Guru Jagat’s desire for a powerful or meaningful male in her life, having not had the attention of her own father. Sounds familiar!!!! The need of many women is this right here.

When we are not told the power we seek is inside of us, we look outside for it. This opens the heart with such longing that you gladly slip into the spiders web, and once wrapped in its arms, you can’t get out or are too humiliated to get out. “No he isn’t like that!” I must have said that shit a thousand times. And yes he was!

My only use to this other teacher was the money he wanted from me. Such a sweet talker, what a fucking idiot I was! It took a lot of work to get that spider web off of me.

The horror of having finally learned that my power came from a much greater place than some man’s so called teachings, made a lot of the bull shit become self evident. When you see YB denigrating women know that the horror goes far and wide. He’s still not the only one, he’s just another one.

After this election of another male predator, can it be any wonder that women are fucking MAD.