And as I think back over the last 7 year cycle of mine it was a very real, very painful 7 years. In 2015, and in short fashion I lost my father unexpectedly, my eldest son’s relationship blew up, he went back to jail. I lost connection with my eldest grandson and horribly, my daughter lost her baby son to SIDS. All within a 6 week period. The seven years since that time have been a living nightmare, and getting past the traumas that were dictated by that time period seemed impossible.

Believe me there is no amount of prayer that moves that which we are meant to use for our good when you would much rather use it to leave and move to the next life. We are not in the garden of Eden but down here where darkness lives and plays. We are here to grow in strength towards the light, not be overcome by the darkness. We are to become light filled beings.

But first lessons, so many lessons…

As the mountain of darkness painted itself at the door to my life I had a couple of options, surrender to the pain was one and scream into the heavens was my second. Sorry to say crying was a relief but not a way through. I had become very angry and like Job started to wonder whether God just had it out for me when others of a dark nature seem to be getting away with murder. But it takes great consciousness to “see” clearly what is real on the material plane of so called life. Understanding the nature of reality is to KNOW that the material world where we have physical life is ruled by the Spiritual field, the world of light. And the world of light was brought into being by the word, in the beginning was the word, so it makes sense that sound rules the material plane.

To learn to exercise our right to a better world is one that can only exist through our efforts. We must attach to the light, then we light our own eternal flame and then life turns things around. It took seven years of horror and in that time I had let go of my spiritual practice off and on as the darkness made me believe that it didn’t matter if I prayer or chanted I was under Gods thumb and my life was shitty. Loved ones were dead or gone, what the actual HELL.

But you can’t keep a good woman down and a prayerful woman will rise even as her dead ass self tries to give up. As I found myself raging more than anything, hating more loving, my health began to reflect, one more time my shitty mind state. And then like the sun bursting through a cloud, I found my old chanting CD’s, remember those. I had to go and buy a cheap cd player just to use them. And so I began to chant again and let me just say my heart was lifted.

Like putting on your favorite robe as I chanted my heart so buried behind pain remembered herself. The tears that came so easily in anger came also so easily in joy. After so many years of chanting and yoga and praying my body began to remember. Each word sung ignited the flame that I had tried to put out in my anger. And now I must sit each morning again with the power of the sacred word moving through my heart and mind and uniting my angry self to my higher self that keeps saying its ok, its ok, its ok.

No one wants pain of this magnitude in their life, but pain will come. Without a strong anchor within you what will you use to help guide you through your storm. Do you know to look for the light even as you roll through countless days of dark?

Go to YouTube and type in chanting. There is a type of chanting that your heart will respond to, chanting is singing prayer. A way to use sound to heal. Because sound is the mother of light and your mom wants to embrace you. Sing to her!